Couch Apology

Oh dear!
Today my crazy challenge is this:

If your furniture, appliances, and other inanimate objects at home had feelings and emotions, to which item would you owe the biggest apology?

 This is a totally an easy one. It's my poor couch. No doubt about it.


I found my poor old brown couch on Craig's List and it had already had a long life in someone else's home. Since coming to reside here it has aged further. I owe the poor thing a huge apology because it puts up with my rear end sitting on it with my legs pulled up under me every single night. The worst part is that I plant that rear end in the exact same spot each time and my poor couch (Let's call him Harold. Peek-A-Boo and I need a man around this house.) is not holding up too well in that area. In addition to the normal wear and tear, he pretty much serves as my dining room since I always seem to pick that same spot to sit and eat. Peek-A Boo sleeps her days away on him and he has often served as a bed for me as well. There he is in sickness and health putting up with my abuse.There is one spot that he uses to try and get back at me. It kind of pokes out and jabs me if I hit that special place. I guess I deserve it. I have already put two pillows under the cushions to try and help Hiram hold up under the pressure. I don't know how much more the poor old guy can take. I sneak a peek at Craig's list sometimes when he's not looking to try and find a replacement, but my pocketbook Mildred says a firm "NO" every time. I wish I could say that Harold would be put out to pasture if a new man were to come to reside here, but there is a fellow at church that really needs a couch, so poor Harold may be moving on to live in at least one more household. That's between you and me. Don't say anything to Harold. I'm afraid he may revolt and do something drastic.
Anyway Harold, You have my deepest apologies.